What a fall from Grace, what a cruel deceit,
What a lack of love behind the sociopathy.
Used me for your secrets, used me for some dimes,
Breaking blood upon this single mother’s whipping hide,
And this bitter wisdom makes me quiet and still.

Peace and happiness, in our hearth and home,
Just optimistic wishes from my blind and trusting hope.
If only I had listened to that inner voice,
I never would have carried out that people-pleasing choice.
And this bitter wisdom makes me scared to trust again.

I found out the hard way, I tasted the apple.
Found out the hard way, abandoned the garden of innocence.

Yes I walked the aisle to make a man of you,
But those very papers brought me unexpected truth.
Crawling back to zero, these lessons in my life,
Bring me closer to the tender mortal life am I,
And this sober wisdom brings silver linings to light.

I found out the hard way, I tasted the apple,
Found out the hard way, I played in the lightning,
Found out the hard way by pushing the boundaries,
Found out the hard way, abandoned the garden of innocence.

Found out the hard way, discovered a backbone,
Found out the hard way, I learned to love myself,
Found out the hard way, the payment for freedom,
Found out the hard way, abandoned the garden of innocence.

A tree it grows in Brooklyn, the force it grows in me,
I’m cracking up the concrete of a life that nearly killed me.
A woman’s just a man away from Welfare so they say,
And Lord I know it to be true, when you’re married by the State.

Yes I’m waiting on a miracle, yes I’m waiting for the sun to shine in,
Waiting, on a miracle, yes I’m waiting for the sun to shine in.

No restraining order, what a fool was she,
A trusting small-town innocent in love with mystery,
You can take the boy from the ghetto, but the ghetto from the boy?
I guess he won his fool’s gold from another woman’s life.

Yes I’m waiting on a miracle, yes I’m waiting for the sun to shine in,

Waiting, on a miracle, yes I’m waiting for the sun to shine in.

Thank you for the laughter, thank you for these tears,
Thank you for my daughter and teaching me no fear,
The money never mattered, just to pay to get us free,
I have my girl, now leave my world, good luck back on the street.

Yes I’m waiting on a miracle, yes I’m waiting for the sun to shine in,
Waiting on a miracle, waiting for the sun to shine in.

The echo of shame, the voice inside my head,
The need for love, the insecurity.

Cutting me down, to the fourteen year old girl,
The Father Figure criticizing me.

Go on – through the darkest night,
Cause I know inside the answer’s here in me.

There’s blood on my soul, for speaking out my pain,
Perpetuating hurt in family.
My mother in me – I cannot explain,
My need for love from her will never wane.

Go on – through the darkest night,
Cause I know inside the answer’s here in me.
Go on – the shadowboxing fight
Disappears when all the music’s here in me.
Like an oracle the music’s here in me.
And I thank you God for music here in me.

Go on – through the darkest night,
Cause I know inside the answer’s here in me
Go on – the shadowboxing fight
And I’ll heal with understanding,
And I’ll deal with patient loving,
And I’ll make it cause the music’s here in me.

Who is this hurting mother?
Don’t want to be her now.
Who in the hell’s that sad reflection?
How did I lose myself?
How many times I walk the river, wondering what life’s for,
Sobbing beneath the staid performance,
Too scared to let it out.

Duty calls…duty calls…

Who is this hurting daughter,
Going down the rabbit hole?
Falling into a crushing darkness,
Shedding skins of the soul.
How many times I walk the river, wanting to lose myself,
Weight of an overcoat of sorrow,
Too sensitive for this world.
Duty call…duty calls…

(Chorus)

Time to do the drop off, time to make the meals,
Time to greet the neighbors, be a perfect ten,
Smiling exterior, but nervous and distressed,
Plodding on this treadmill, take another pill.
Start another morning, wake to the alarm,
Rise up in the darkness, get inside the car,
Join the rank and file, thousands in the flow,
Minnows on the freeway, on and on it goes…

(I don’t want to go – I don’t want to live this – I don’t want this life – There is more than
this.)

Who is that serious child,
The one left alone?
Mother’s in the kitchen crying again,
No use to ask for help.
So it goes…so it goes…

You mean the world to me, I knew that moment then.
Your eyes poured into mine, I saw myself.
You now are home to me, it’s in the little things.
We now have years between, silences of knowing,
Eternities in seconds, unfolding in dreams I feel the future of our lives.

Come on inside this broken heart and make a home.
Come on inside these empty arms and hold me close.
Come on inside the bedtime covers, feel my warmth.
Come on inside my secret places, I am yours.

There is a universe, there is a galaxy,
There is an easy chair, here inside of me.
Waiting here for you and me,
Let’s build a life together - I’ve waited too long.

Come on inside this broken heart and make a home.

Come on inside these empty arms and hold me close.
Come on inside the quilted covers, feel my warmth.
Come on inside my secret places, I am yours.

Maybe fire raged, maybe karma played its way,
Maybe all my life was blind so I could find you.

Come on inside this broken heart and make a home.
Come on inside these empty arms and hold me close.
Come on inside the nighttime covers, feel my warmth.
Come on inside my secret places, I am yours.

Prenup, babygirl, prenup baby, P.R.E.N.U.P.
Prenup, babygirl, prenup baby, P.R.E.N.U.P.

This is a page from my own life,
Here’s some advice:
Before you sign on the dotted line,
Filled with hope for the perfect life,
Love yourself enough for peace of mind.

Prenup, babygirl, prenup, baby, P.R.E.N.U.P.
Prenup, babygirl, prenup, baby, P.R.E.N.U.P.

Think of the years you dedicate
Think of today.
Billie and Aretha sang - mind yourself with some self-respect,
Self-love indeed is highest love.

Prenup, babygirl, prenup, baby, P.R.E.N.U.P.
Prenup, babygirl, prenup, baby, P.R.E.N.U.P.
In a D.I.V.O.R.C.E.
Self-R.E.S.P.E.C.T.

F.Y.I., I’m T.C.B.
Cause I.O.U. nothin’ baby,
My P.O.V.’s here for posterity
So you’ll be free A.S.A.P.
P.R.E.N.U.P,
P.R.E.N.U.P.

Years keep dripping away, I notice the little things,
Moments in a mirror, holding the paper farther.
Moving slower and feeling colder,
Scared to trust my heart to another.

But I realized in the bottom of my well, that I was nowhere: safe but still in hell.
I had to pick myself up and believe that I would love again.
Yes, I will love again.

And I’ll love you for life, heart of my cry, darling of mine.
And I’ll walk through this fire, lay down my life, my violet eyes.

Oh Universe, oh Godly place, delivered you in a Christmas cake.
Sweaters and cheddars and knowing your mother,
Poems and lamas and children among us,
Valentines and showing spine
Going after what was mine
So divine, those kisses on our first night,
And patience and wisdom pulling us to each-other,
Blessings in finding our life together,
I’m picking myself up and believing that I will love again. Yes I do love again.

A notarized paper will never together make our unity.
The wreckage of marriage, the bloody damned baggage between you and me,
Won’t tarnish this silent of sacred decrees,
That I will, I will be,
Yours eternally.

And I’ll love you for life, heart of my cry, darling of mine.
And I’ll walk through this fire, lay down my life, my violet eyes.

I lost but I did not lose the lesson,
I was so lonely there at the top of my mountain,
And I can be the Joan of Arc of courage,
But with one touch of lust I crumbled in his arms.

Maybe I don’t understand what it takes to make it last,
It doesn’t help when little girls are pushed too far and too damned fast,
They grow up to be the woman dancing in a cage,
And learning too late the acquiescing turns to rage.
There’s somethin’ I’ve gotta say,
Somethin’ I’ve gotta say,
Somethin’ I’ve gotta say,
Somethin’ I’ve gotta say.

What I love is also what I hate.
This music kills me then forces me to stand up straight,
So don’t confuse positivity for naïveté,
The great ones walked through hell to become that way.

And oh my God the tests get harder,
My love and I are torn apart,
Why do I feel I must choose between my music and my heart,

Futile pressure running on this hamster wheel,
I will walk down the path of motherhood I feel.
There’s somethin’ I’ve gotta say,
Somethin’ I’ve gotta say,
Somethin’ I’ve gotta say, say, say, say

All my life I strove to be the first one in my family to achieve,
Grab ahold of that brass ring,
But money’s so empty, the road will leave you lonelier than lonely, I’m sorry,
I learned my lesson late in life and love, forgive me.

There’s somethin’ I’ve gotta say,
Somethin’ I’ve gotta say,
There’s somthin’ I’ve gotta say, in my life, in my time
There’s Somethin I’ve gotta say, say, say, say and today’s gonna be my day.

Come down here and lie with me,
Tonight the soil is wet and ready,
I watched the way you danced tonight,
And I’m picturing you as I touch my inside.
Full pink lips and fingertips,
I’m drinking you in little sips,
God I love you, God I love you,
I’m going to do some things I never dared to do.

I’m going to whisper in your ear,
Tell you little things,
Nasty, trashy, dirty love letters,
More creative than the magazines,
I’ll breathe until you come,
Kiss you ‘til you’re done,
Three thousand miles away,
In another state,
Talking on the telephone.

My sugar’s down deep in South America,
Singing in Brazil,
Where the women shake their nature,
Greased up with fuck-me-pumps and a postage stamp thong.
Better go back to your room,
And call me on the telephone,
Get on my roller coaster ride,
My tilt-a-whirl,
My tunnel of love will make your heart unfurl.

I’m going to whisper in your ear,
Tell you little things,
Nasty, trashy, dirty love letters,

More creative than the magazines,
I’ll breathe until you come,
Kiss you ‘til you’re done,
Three thousand miles away,
In another state,
Talking on the telephone.

Now that you’re gone,
And I’m on the road,
Now that you’re gone,
I’ll love you from afar.

Get back down upon your knees,
Rip, unzip, undo me please,
My legs are oiled up,
Mamita is down,
I’ve got my brand new four inch high heels on.

I’m going to whisper in your ear,
Tell you little things,
Nasty, trashy, dirty love letters,
More creative than the magazines,
I’ll breathe until you come,
Kiss you ‘til you’re done,
Three thousand miles away,
In another state,
Talking on the telephone.

Now that you’re gone,
And I’m on the road,
Now that you’re gone,
I’ll love you from afar.
(repeat.)

We were born into this life to cry and yearn and learn and die.
We lose the plot, we play the parts,
But only once we have this heart,
This chance between

2 lifetimes, constellations-sparkling-lectric-energy,
The pull between,
2 lifetimes, take my hand and walk upon the path with me,
Reality, is love.

All we leave behind is lost,
Just things to gather lust and dust.
The house for sale, the grand estates,
The echoes of the somebodies,

Who sought love in

2 lifetimes, constellations-sparkling-lectric-energy,
The pull between,
2 lifetimes, blessed holy moment in the unity,
The most sacred thing,
2 lifetimes, take my hand and walk upon the path with me,
Reality,
2 lifetimes, rivers under bridges past and future meet,
The way between.
2 lifetimes.

All that lives is love.