Music

Life Goes On
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Lyrics


Love child accident born to children themselves,
She nearly died on the table giving birth to her first back in ’63,
That was my sister Irene.
Moved into the trailer park in Ithaca, New York,
Took another job while he was going to school,
Another mouth to feed,
Well, that was me.

Oh round and round and round we go,
The seasons melt away like snow,
Oh round and round and round we go,
The years they pass away and life goes on.

Couldn’t stop trying too damned hard,
Being everything to everybody but he couldn’t hold up his heart,
And it broke him down.
So he left that town.
Moved again to the cold blue North, little town on the sea,
Innocent dreams of hope that they’d grow to be,
A little better than what he had.

(Chorus)

Father, eagle-scout, mentor, boy.
Silence the table with that bear in your voice.
My frozen fear, my swallowed tears,
Always coming down the hardest on the ones that you love best.
All my life I’ve looked to your eyes.

I’m looking back on the younger me trying so hard,
A fragile bird in the golden girl seeking love,
Her father’s child;  walking in his stride.
And I’m looking now at the older man you’ve turned out to be,
The hardness has softened to empathy,
We’ve made amends, we’re better friends.

(Chorus)

Strong, beautiful woman, oh so don’t let the world get you down,
Look within yourself and remember who you are.

Ten years old in braids and skirts, I’m flying down the hill,
Down the street to Grandma’s house, I step inside her world.
First she’d hold me, feed me, scold me, patiently she’d heed my moaning,
Then she’d sit me down and tell me this:

You’ll be a strong, beautiful woman, and I won’t let the world let you down.
Look within yourself and remember who carried you forth.
You’ll be a strong, beautiful woman, and I won’t let the world let you down.
Look within yourself and remember who you are.

Twenty-six and leading the band, the troubadour traveling show.
Working in a world of men, broken-hearted and alone.
I lift my head up just long enough to cease self-pitying and doubt,
I feel her spirit with me now:

You are a strong, beautiful woman, so don’t let the world let you down.
Look within yourself and remember who carried you forth.
You are a strong, beautiful woman, so don’t let the world let you down.
Look within yourself and remember, who you are.

Decades come and decades go, the thirties, forties, on it goes,
Seems I’m always holding on to this:

You are a strong, beautiful woman, so don’t let the world let you down.
Look within yourself and remember who carried you forth.

You are a strong, beautiful woman, so don’t let the world let you down.
Look within yourself and remember who you are.

I know I’m not the woman you married, those things we promised aren’t true
Like better for worse and being faithful, being honest and true,
Loving as well as we could.

Eloise, Eloise, forgive me please Eloise.

We can paint such a picture, the years we lived in Vermont,
Working our farm near Montpelier, the morning fresh eggs, the loft,.
Haybales and skin so soft.

The most beautiful woman I witnessed, I knew when your eyes met my eyes,
I thanked sweet Jesus as you kissed me,
Inside I quietly died,
I knew then that you’d be my life.

So how did dark clouds come over, and hurricane through our home,
The sanctity of our halcyon days, collapsed when you fell out of love,
And started to look around.

The jealousy I feel inside me, is a tiger I cannot control.
The same love I feel for you darling, is the same hate that leads me to hell,.
Oh I’m spiraling down to hell.

You borrowed my Ford 55’ pickup, I found it parked in the lot
Behind the Barbeque and Brisket, but you weren’t alone in my truck,
You weren’t alone in my truck.

And then I don’t’ know what came over, cause I don’t’ remember the blood,
From the bullet holes I fired in his body, the ambulance, the handcuffs, the cops,
Oh no I don’t remember the blood.

Eloise, Eloise, forgive me please Eloise.
Eloise, Eloise, come back please Eloise.

As I sit here alone in detention, singing this mournful old tune,
I beg your forgiveness, I pine in my cell,
Until you visit me soon,
Oh please come visit me soon.

This is the day that we married, this is the day your mom died,
This is the day we met in Virginia, I hold all our days in my heart,
I cross off the days in my book.

And you still arrive at the hour, you still stay married to me,
We wait out our days in the bleakness, connected to something higher,
Our love will live through this.

Eloise, Eloise, forgive me please Eloise.
Eloise, Eloise, forgive me please Eloise.

Saturn returned to Aries and my star rose and rose,
I found my little town shoes walking down a red carpet,
Naively placed by flashing bulbs.
At school we were lovers then reunited in the eye of this storm,
But love and luck collided and I followed the work,
Arm in arm at the shining top but crumbling inside,
Smiling for the public but still holding back the nervous breakdowns.

Saturn returned to Aries and my love dove and dove.
The separation ache forked our way,
And you silently withheld.
With trust and courage we confessed to a steely-eyed counselor,
But it was too late we had paved our fate,
An abyss behind Saturn’s door.

There’s a sorrow on that Hudson,
There’s an eagle who is flying looking for a single treetop to alight and make her nest.

Saturn returned to Aries in this house I bought for two,
So cavernous and lonely in this ivory tower,
Here without you.
Oh pain my teacher, my embittered friend,
Here you come to guide me again and again and again.
And I look outside my window and all I see is you:
Sorrow-on-the-Hudson, sunsets withering West,
I wake up, palpitations screaming in my breast,
I will get over this, I will grow past you,
Sorrow-on-the-Hudson show me what to do.

There’s a sorrow on that Hudson,
There’s an Indian who’s crying to the buildings that are built upon his fathers’ fathers.
There’s a me who dying in your cold and mighty waters.

Falling North, of the Arctic Circle inside of you,
The bleakness, the cold eye of ice in you.
Tundra-heart, you banish all memories, all feeling,
You’re a distant cold-shoulder, I’m reeling.

Oh, we’re as dead as doors, we’re as dead as ashes,
Walking through your Manitoba, walking through your Manitoba.

(oh, oh, oh, oh) …

Therapy, that big trigger-word that changes you,
And touches the bulls-eye of rage in you.
What’s your fear?  Remembering the abandoned little child,
Retreating in books while your father’s wild,

Oh, we’re as dead as doors, we’re as dead as ashes,
Walking through your Manitoba, walking through your Manitoba
Oh, we’re as dead as doors, we’re as dead as ashes,
Walking through your Manitoba, walking through your Manitoba.
(oh, oh, oh, oh)…

Right by your side, naked and wide,
I feel my insides, start to come up inside my mouth.
It’s what I give, into this sieve,
It’s worse than lonely,
It’s hot tar on my innocence.

We’re as dead as doors, we’re as dead as ashes,
Walking through your Manitoba, walking through your Manitoba,
We’re as dead as doors, we’re as dead as ashes,
Walking through your Manitoba, walking through your Manitoba,
We’re as dead as doors, we’re as dead as ashes,
Walking through your Manitoba, walking through your Manitoba.

It’s what I give, into this sieve, it’s worse than lonely,
It’s hot tar on my innocence,
Right by your side, naked and wide,
It’s worse than lonely, it’s hot tar on my innocence.

I’m going away, now, I’m going away.

Everyone is happy here
Until you walk in
Tossing your poison around and
Silencing with your toxicity
You cannot hear me scream.

Morning routines, bedtime routines,
Going through our motions here
Living inside the romanticizing,
That trapped us in a wicked dream.
I have lost my scream.

I am all alone on the rooftops
Wanting to fall.
I will let the wind hold my body
Drowning me out.

Can’t believe, can’t believe,
I’m back here at the table,
Watching your crooked ways
As you sashay through the kitchen scene,
God where is my scream?

I am all alone on the rooftops,
Wanting to fall.
I will let the wind into my heart and devour these killing thoughts.

Somehow, somehow,
I’ve gotta pull myself through this,
There is a way to peace,
Discovering the dormant beast.
The one lost in my scream.
Open up my feelings.
God where is my scream?

I see him in my father,
I sense him in my mother,
My sister holds it in her hands,
It’s the heart of the Imaginary Man,
Oh I’ll do everything I can,
For the heart of the Imaginary Man,
I want to give all I can.

I look around me, the crowd about me,
There’s nobody to call to, nobody to hear me,
I’ll turn my back on them, I’m, I’m giving you my heart,
There’s somebody who loves me, who’s in my arms.

He comes to me when I’m sleeping,
To confess and tease and keep me bound,
He comes to me when I’m dreaming,
To ask me for my hand in vow,
Oh I’ll do everything I can,
For the heart of the Imaginary Man,
I want to give all I can.

I look around me, the crowd about me,
There’s nobody to call to, nobody to hear me,
I’ll turn my back on them, I’m, I’m giving you my heart,
There’s somebody who loves me, who’s in my arms.

Call me a lunatic for what I care, who on earth is better than the air –
Spiking the hair upon the small of my back,
Keeping me collared, enslaved and daggered,
No one knows my man, no one knows my secret plan –

I look around me, the crowd about me,
There’s nobody to call to, nobody to hear me,
I’ll turn my back on them, I’m, I’m giving you my heart,
There’s somebody who loves me, who’s in my arms.

The snowstorm blankets Cinncinnati.
A black crow flies straight to my window
He looks me in the eye and tells me,
The price for this will bring you sorrow.

Billy Joe, I cast a shadow, from the darkness in my soul,
Billy Joe, I lost control, the little girl who can’t say no.

The bus pulls in another city,
Wake up and don’t know where we are.
Four months without a loving shoulder.
At night I cannot fight the loving you start.

Billy Joe, I cast a shadow, from the darkness in my soul,
Billy Joe, I lost control, it was just a passing whimsical…

The price for this will bring you sorrow…

Billy Joe, I cast a shadow, from the darkness in my soul,
Billy Joe, you think you know - once burned twice sociological,
Billy Joe, don’t be cold, my mistakes are no worse than yours,
Billy Joe, this lonely road, conjures up the inner ghosts,
Billy Joe, I let you go, spread my legs to ease this woe,
Billy Joe, It was just a moment, don’t you see that I am yours.
Billy Joe, Billy Joe, Billy Joe.

I’ll be your secretary, oh.
I’ll fetch your vodka on the rocks,
I’ll be your secretary, oh,
I’ll reach up towards the highest shelf and,
You’ll sidle up behind me,
I do not know you’re there,
Until I feel your hands are sliding hands up my two thighs and I…

And I want it violent,
And I want it mental,
And I want it gentle.

I’ll be your secretary, oh,
I’ll kneel down on the floor (in front of you)
I’ll be your secretary, oh,
I’ll open up my mouth and you will
lift me up and lay me over
Your secretary,
Until I feel your hands are sliding hands up my two thighs and I…

And I want it violent,
And I want it mental,
And I want it gentle.

I’ll be your secretary, oh,
So kneel down on the floor in front of me,
You’ll be my secretary, oh,
Now come and be my Florence Nightingale.
I want you in my apron,
I want you to paint the walls,
I want to come and smack you,
Make you hot and sore, now get down on the floor, and I…

And I want it violent,
And I want it mental,
And I want it gentle.

I’ll be your secretary, oh.

Don’t believe, you’re still with me,
How much pain, can we take?

Why don’t you go?  Why don’t you go?
Why don’t you go a-lookin’ boy, and find another girl,
Why don’t you go.

Do you really want me? 
All of my ugly?
Seems I bleed the one, the one I love this deeply.

Why don’t you go?  Why don’t you go?
Why don’t you go a-lookin’ boy, and find another girl,
Why don’t’ you go.

A plague of low self-esteem.
Pathetic, fulfilling needs.
Just leave me emptier.
The shame to face the mirror.
I see her she’s calling, calling.
She’s crying for freedom, freedom.
The light in her eyes is an angel’s.
With love she’ll break from her shell.

I am not your enemy, I am not your dream unlived.
I am just this song I have today.
All I have is melody and string.

If Frida Kahlo could see us here together, here today,
She’d paint us in some churches, in some feathers, in some gray.
She’d see us in our suffering and cut our arteries,
And there would flow down fountains, flow down fountains

From my Red Corsette.

Whale bone from the killing of the largest peaceful being,
Is blue and bound around my waist and will not let me sing,
I cannot breathe, I feel too faint just as they’d have me be,
But I do not belong here, I am shedding off this, shredding off this

Red Corsette.

I am not your enemy, I am not your dream unlived.
I am just this song I have today.
All I have is melody and pain.
I don’t have the words inside for oceans upon oceans cried,
All I have is this song today.
And I’ll sing it now for those who cannot,
Sing it now for those who dare not,
Sing it now for those who know not,

Red Corsette.